You are sober. You finally realize that you are an addict or alcoholic and must abstain because your quality of life goes out the window whenever you partake.
Congratulations on your new, sober life! Even if you mislabel yourself and are not an addict, there probably won’t be any horrible consequences because of your newfound sobriety. Should you date somebody else in recovery?
Dating in recovery can be a beneficial experience for several reasons. One significant benefit is the opportunity to develop healthy relationships. Individuals in recovery often have greater self-awareness and emotional stability, which can translate into improved communication and relationship skills. Additionally, dating in recovery can be a way to explore personal values and desires, helping individuals identify what they want and need in a partner and a relationship. Moreover, dating in recovery can help individuals avoid potential triggers that may lead to relapse. Individuals can build meaningful and fulfilling relationships that support their recovery by prioritizing their sobriety, setting healthy boundaries, and communicating effectively with their partners. Finally, it can be a positive experience for those who are committed to sobriety and have the necessary support and tools.
Here are ten reasons why it could be a good idea to date somebody in recovery.
1. You both will likely remember everything. Misunderstandings will be much easier to resolve. Two people from different backgrounds in different walks of life are bound to have differences. When alcohol or drugs are removed, both parties have a mental edge and will be more aware of what they say and do.
Dating somebody who is of a sober and sound mind is going to make handling misunderstandings much easier.
2. You both work on a solid program and have your own networks. You both can turn to your friends in the program to give you feedback when challenges arise. Having support on both sides is incredibly helpful when in a relationship. When problems happen, it’s a blessing to have other sober friends.
3. Your dates will be more memorable and creative. Socially drinking is so commonplace nowadays in society. And there’s nothing wrong with that if you can handle it. But as a sober, thriving individual, you will have to get creative when figuring out how to spend time together so you can enjoy ( and remember ) unique adventures!
4. You both will have more opportunities to better yourselves and discover new hobbies together or separately! When you remove alcohol or drugs, you will suddenly be flooded with more time on your hands. The gift of time is a great opportunity to rediscover old interests, travel, read books, learn a new instrument, try a new class, work out, watch movies, spend time with friends and family, build your dream life, volunteer, etc. The list goes on and on! Dating someone sober with more free time is a luxury not to be overlooked.
5. You both understand something that nonalcoholic people can’t wrap their heads around. But, you get each other because the two of you will likely have been through some adversity that the average person cannot and cannot understand. That is a tremendous attribute because alcoholism is a tricky disease. Going through life and having a partner who understands you is like getting upgraded to first class for free. You can breathe easier, stretch out, and be yourself because s/he gets it too.
6. Accountability. Having a partner who also abstains from drug use will fuel you to be more committed to your recovery. Nobody can make/keep you sober, as you must do the work to stay sober, but hanging around a partner who is solid in their recovery can encourage you to stay the course. Be mindful of who you choose to spend your time with, as this can greatly impact your life. Spending time with a partner with a like-minded goal of staying sober is like an extra espresso in your coffee. That common goal can also strengthen & build your relationship. Personal recovery is most important, but having someone who’s also walked this life can help provide extra peace of mind.
7. Most recovering addicts with a solid program are “good” people who try to do the next right thing. Nobody’s perfect, but the key to living a good life is being a good person to the best of your ability. Being “good” means cleaning up your side of the street, even when someone else has wronged or hurt you. Working the steps, sponsorship, and going to meetings are all typically a benefit of dating someone in recovery. Having somebody who is an honest/ kind person by your side makes life so much sweeter. What you put out generally comes back to you, and folks with a strong recovery are taught to put out positivity, honesty, and integrity.
8. You both save money. This is a no-brainer, but drugs and alcohol cost more than your health and mental sanity. By omitting the substances from your life, you have extra money for whatever it is that you want to spend it on. Having a partner who also doesn’t participate doubles the money saved. Go on a trip! Splurge on a meal! Use it however you guys want to!
9. You get to submerge yourself into the experience of dating fully. Without the armor of alcohol dulling your experiences, you get the incredible opportunity to participate in life fully. Rediscovering who you are as a person, along with another sober companion, is such a blast. Not only will you get to know each other clearheaded, but you will also discover who you are independently. It’s a joy to be alive with a sober & sound mind!
10. Your date won’t have alcohol on their breath—or track marks on their arms. Or be spun out high as heck on God knows what. There’s nothing worse than being sober around a bunch of belligerent, incoherent people. Drunk people do and say stupid things and can morph into obnoxious people. Provided that both parties are sober, the experience of spending time with someone like you minimizes drama and unnecessary nonsense.
Dating in Recovery
Dating in recovery can have many benefits for individuals on the path to healing from addiction. One significant advantage is the ability to form new, healthy relationships. In recovery, individuals develop a strong self-awareness and emotional stability, which can translate into improved communication and relationship skills. Additionally, dating in recovery can provide opportunities for growth and self-discovery, allowing individuals to identify what they want and need in a partner and a relationship. Finally, individuals can build healthy, fulfilling relationships that support their recovery by prioritizing their sobriety and avoiding potential triggers. Overall, dating in recovery can be a positive and rewarding experience for those who are committed to sobriety and have the necessary tools and support. It is essential, to be honest with yourself and your partner about your recovery journey and to prioritize your sobriety above all else.